As you may already know, I struggled pretty much all throughout high school with an eating disorder called anorexia nervosa. Many people, who are similarly fighting their own battle, ask me what I did to “get over it.”  I find it somewhat hard to narrow it down to a systematic way of what helped me “get better.”  By nature, we want something systematic–a 1-2-3 Point System–that we can follow to get from point A (sick) to point B (better).  I’m finding that heart issues are not always that cut and dry or that easy to solve.  The reason?  It comes down to one word.  Relationship.

We all were created for a real, live relationship with the God who created us. He wants to hang out with us so much that He knew if we could 1-2-3 fix ourselves, we’d never need Him.  Again, that’s just how we are wired.  The moment we get it all figured out, poof!, He is out of the picture!  I’ve learned, through my own journey with an eating disorder, to see it as a process.  Through this process, I desperately needed God to break through for me, give me wisdom, hold me up on the bad days, love me every day, and just be there throughout the entire journey.

An eating disorder is usually a very silent thing and we tend to feel completely isolated…even from God. The loudest voice we hear is the one between our own ears–and believe me, it is very loud.  But through this process of healing, my need drove me to a deeper relationship with God, which may not have happened had He snapped His fingers and made it all disappear.

I learned an important truth: God was not just about me getting over an eating disorder, but cared more about my heart…what was causing the eating disorder.  He didn’t want to fix the problem…he wanted to show me why I had the problem in the first place–all for the purpose of healing that hurt. And some of the “why” is still being worked on—because it is a process!

My healing from this disorder was (is) three-fold. Click here to see the full story.